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It's in nights like these
With solitude as my closest friend
That I wonder if true love exists
And if it will some-day find me

My bedsheets turn blue with blood
As the moonlight lays through my window
And I hear the loudest silence
Roughly clench my velvet heart

I fall asleep in a dream of silk
Where the night falls when morning comes
Where the moon can always love the sun
And the sun can always be by her side

Only in the dream the hope can be real.
Only in the dream true love can exist.





Från dalar, kullar och fjärran länder

Anländer de med tomma händer

Redo att styra sitt ödes skepp

Genom fördomens stormar

Som kvinna inser jag att jag ej kan göra allt

Det trycker tungt på mig från ovan

Känner mig mycket mindre än jag är

Begränsad, fängslad av det stora

Att bli fri från mina kedjor, men till vilket pris?

När man inga pengar har

blir mitt hopp ovärderligt

endast min vilja kvar jag har.

I min ryggsäck finns det framtid

För vi som genom historien bär den

Hittar alltid hem fast med nya ansikten

Men med samma glimt i ögat.

Vänd helvetet till himmel

Hjälper jag mig själv upp.

Värm mig liksom solen värmer kalla hav

Dyker djupt ner i drömmarnas stad

Stephanie Arenander 15/01/2018




The Wind Rises - A Studio Ghibli production - Directed by Hayao Miyazaki

I was surprised to see that I had not watched The wind rises, perhaps such a long time ago that my memory fails me, nevertheless I'm glad I yet again discovered it.

The story is eloquently detailed, yet describes the time inside like a natural flow connecting each event to the other skillfully. The main focus is the protagonists, based on a true person, the pacifistic Jiro Horikoshi and his passion for the technical design of airplanes. This is all happening pre-worldwar II, and gives insight in one of the japanese individuals perspective of WWII. The terror of war is always near in the back with a dark presence, but since the movie revolves around Horikoshi, I would not recommend watching it for historical purposes only. Although it is worth noting that the history of Japan is clearly and extremely well framed in this movie, as we experience the great earthquake of Tokyo and the pre-war economical crisis.

The music and scenery in the movie is beyond beautiful, everything closes up in harmony together and I can literally hear my soul rejoice just by watching. You could pause anywhere in the movie and that would be a piece of art, ready to be printed out and hanged in nearest gallery.

The romance that appears in The Wind Rises is simple yet overwhelming, Horikoshi passion is not only limited to airplanes, and gives the movie another side, thus depth. Miyazaki combined two completely different stories (the novel The Wind Rises and it's own biographic motion picture of Horikoshi) in such an incredible way.

TL;DR = Just watch it!



Livet, Allt

It is amazing how 2017 is so soon to end. This year has gone by so quickly, and my summermemories still linger with warmth in my heart. I love life. I love people. Can't wait for 2018, how surprising it might even become.




Hidden key, protected heart
Despising me, heavens art

Pouring tea, rain fall
Flowing sea, phone call

Dead desert, living rose
Thorns hurt, devils close

I always write in the nighttime




O The walls are painted with lies!
They shatter upon innocent eyes
Revealing the violence deep hidden in art
Yet our lonely pleads
, they break apart
No one can hear you in the forest
, when it is dark.
Still be my frozen blood
, O my frozen heart.

Would love keep me warm,
Accept my truth or my reason
As I would mean no harm
, loving the demon
Who wear an angels face
Always in a smile
, singing songs with grace.

Thus will empathy and acceptance
Lie in my grave
, with a beating heart
Dead in the dependance
, like Descartes.
Forever burning like the sun
As my passion for life remains undone.





The notion falls upon me, softly and cold as snow dangling, do true love exist? And will we ever know the truth? We might say we do, but how are we sure that it is not a lie wrapped up in the romantic layers of capitalism and hedonism?

Albeit it would be false, and the heart cracks open just to be found filled with emptiness, perhaps it would still be worth the price, for it might be as valuable as life itself for many.

Nevertheless, I enjoy romantic movies immensely, and Pride and Prejudice will forever be one of my favourites, much thanks to Marianellis heavenly piano.